DECISIONS

Have you ever made a decision that you later regretted? Yes? Well, you’re not alone. In fact, everyone has experienced this from time to time. Point it, it happens. 

Today’s blog post is about making decisions.  This post will focus on what’s the best way to make decisions and follow through and the possible factors as to why you’re not able to make decisions. 

Let’s discuss some of the factors. 

INSECURITIES. Okay, this is an important one. Have you ever said, or heard someone say, “I probably should start on this goal but I just want to make sure I do these things first before I start.” The goal never gets started because you’re looking for “perfection.” Let me tell you a little secret, it’s not perfection that you are looking for. Neither are you going to be more “prepared” for this goal if you do those other things first. 

For example, it’s like an athlete watching videos of the particular sport they specialize in, without actually participating in the sport. Can you imagine a basketball player or a soccer player telling you that they will improve their skills in the sport by watching a bunch of videos, without actually physically playing the sport? No! That would be crazy! 

Similarly, we can’t keep putting off starting our goals because we are waiting for the perfect moment. Don’t get stuck in the planning phase because you’re waiting for the “right time.” There is no “right time”, except for right now! 

When you wait for the right time, you are setting yourself behind. The only reason you are looking for the right time is because you have doubts. You either have doubts about your goal or you have doubts within yourself about completing the goal. Either way, doubts stem from your own insecurities. Looking at the previous example I gave of the athlete, he could keep telling him or herself that their watching videos to improve their skills but maybe  the reason why their stalling so much is because they are afraid of “not being able to win all the time”, or “or not being the best”. Insecurities. A bunch of insecurities. We can’t avoid them but we can acknowledge them and kind of push them to the side. We can also make sure that when we have a particular set goal in mind not to have any doubts about the goal in place. YOU MUST WANT IT SO BADLY THAT YOU WON’T ALLOW ANYTHING TO GET IN THE WAY OF YOU ACHIEVING IT. 

Another factor could be your addiction to overthinking. Many may say that they don’t have an addiction to overthinking. They admit that at times they do overthink, but they are not addicted to overthinking. But, in the case that you’re not sure whether you are addicted to overthinking, here’s how you can self-examine whether you are addicted to overthinking. First thing to think about is what is an addiction? An addiction is something that controls you. It controls your life. It affects you mentally, physically and sometimes even emotionally. When it comes to overthinking, ask yourself, ‘Do my thoughts control me? Do my thoughts control/affect my emotional and sometimes physical state?’

If it seems like the answer is ‘yes’ or even ‘sometimes’ to those 2 questions, remember this: don’t let those thoughts define you. Again, acknowledge that they are there and move on. You can’t avoid your thoughts. Since overthinking is never really just one thought that pops in your head, remember this: although, you don’t have control over the initial thought, you can take back your control for the next thought. 

So now that we have examined some of the factors that might be hindering you from making decisions, let’s discuss some ways you can make decisions and follow through.

First and foremost, you need to just start. Go. Make the decision. Before that, ensure that this is your decision and your decision only. Even if this a “joint decision” make sure that it is still something you believe in and want to do. Don’t just agree with the decision because you feel bad, or you want to make people happy. Don’t just agree with the decision because you feel you don’t have a good enough excuse/reason to say no/disagree. Agree to disagree. 

The danger with always ,taking decisions based on how everyone else will feel is that you can start to resent the very decision you made. Remember this,  resentment builds when you’re yes really means no, but when there is a clear distinction between your yes and your no, there will be no room for resentment only for happiness.

“I WILL NEVER QUIT”. Like I said before, when you have a goal/decison to make there should be no doubts that that is what you what you want to do or accomplish. When there is no doubts, it will be easier for you to follow through with the decision. Keep in mind though, that this does not mean that you will never have doubts or negative thoughts along the way. Trust me, it can happen. What can you do? Tell yourself, “I WILL NEVER QUIT!” 

Here’s a good exercise: 

Whenever you encounter an obstacle that’s hindering from moving forward with a goal or is making you feel stuck, write this down on a sheet of paper:

“I am experiencing…which is not allowing me to/hindering me from…”

“I acknowledge this obstacle as hindering me or setting me back…”

“BUT I WILL NEVER QUIT”. (Continue to write this phrase on every line until you’re at the end of the paper).

By writing this down and telling yourself internally that you will never quit, acknowledging the obstacles that you are facing and how they are affecting you will help you to identify the issue and most importantly move on and take the next step. As a result, you will be able to follow through with your decision. 

Key points to remember? There is no “right time” to make a decision, except for right now. There should be no room for doubt. Doubts stem from insecurities. Insecurities hinder you from growth. 

Don’t let your thoughts define you. Remember that, you can’t control your initial thought but you can take back your control for the second thought. 

When you want to make a decision, make sure it’s a decision you made.  Remember this,  resentment builds when you’re yes really means no, but when there is a clear distinction between your yes and your no, there will be no room for resentment only for happiness. And finally, most importantly, whenever you face an obstacle, identify and acknowledge it and then move on. 

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